Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
We had to coat check the pizza.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
