It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
