If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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