apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
