I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
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