I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
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