YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
