the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
