I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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