Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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