Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Acid is not a monday night drug
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Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize