he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
