she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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