So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
