Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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