I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Another day, another engagement, another cat
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
