i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
