yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Randomize
