tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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