My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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