and you said cock pushups were impossible
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I just had sex on a roof
i think my cat just said my name.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
