Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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