She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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