Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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