I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
