Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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