see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
