It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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