next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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