I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
