Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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