Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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