moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize