By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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