is your mom at the bar?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Randomize