woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
this hospital has no fireball
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Let's get the cat blown out
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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