Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
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