In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
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