Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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