nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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