Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
