The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
