I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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