I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
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