is your mom at the bar?
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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