you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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