Bisexual people are plain selfish.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
