So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
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Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
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He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
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