Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize