Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
