okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
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She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
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I'd cum for enchiladas.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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