my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
