A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
