my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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