Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
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