gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize