let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
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