this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
He shit in the fireplace
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize